Welcome to my life

2006-02-18T12:52:00.000+08:00

how i wished i could join the rest of my family for a good time in jakarta...sobs...sobs ;(

I know it sucks but i really have no choice

2006-01-13T22:51:00.000+08:00

Dearest Yanni ,
As you and me know..i promised to bring you out to eat fried fish bee hoon and chill and maybe watch movie togewther and go shopping but i am really saorry that last minute i have to work.As you know these kind of job oppurtunity dont always come and i really have to grap it to make some pocket money for my self. im so sick og being broke. and im so sick of you always paying for me.i dun like it la.i really hope u undderstandand occupy ur freetime in a useful way.I really miss you and miss spending time with u but my policy is work always comes first no mater what.be patient.after werking this 3 days i will have alot more money and when we go to the zoo agan next wqeek we will have more money to spend and more stuff to buy and see and more places to go.please be patient k. i know u can do it.Dun think i dun miss u coz i do.i guess thats all i have to say la.really look forward to spending whole days with u again.Take care sayang.May Allah always be with you. :)

dumb clown

2005-12-23T14:14:00.000+08:00

Hope you like the Porche Skin which I took a lil effort to do it for you.
I know you like it when you sms me that my blogskin rocks.
How can I write at your blog? Hahahaha...

I love it baby! I love to blog. I love to change blogskin. Yours n mine.. I love you. And I really do.. When are you going to rock me? heheheh.. I don't know why I am so hyperactive. But I love my Atok... I am trying so hard not to think of him baby... I love you. Bye.

Wat a day

2005-12-18T23:47:00.000+08:00

Woke up today at 1255..Shafiq caled me and was talking in a hurry..Although i just woke up from sleep..i managed to figure out what he was tryin to say.Shafiq runs a small kpmpang group that plays for ocassions like weddings and stuff and turns out that today he has a wedding to perform for and a couple of his staff could not perform and he was in deep trouble if he couls not get ppl in time.So he called me and i reminded him that i do not know how to play the kompang.But still he insisted that he could teach me..he was really desperate and i felt sorry because it was in such a short notice and that i really could not help him.Yanni and me had planned the day before to go pamper orself with some traditional indonesian massage.

I was really exicited but at the same time thinking twice becuase i know that she really worked hard for her money.But she has been having a backache for the pass few days and we thought that it was ok to go for the massage as it was only a one time affair.

I met her at 4pm..late as usual..our appointment was booked at 5pm/to make matters worst..i didnt really know how to get to serangoon garden way from ysihun..but with the help of my father..the super taxi driver we soon found our way there.So we reached at 5pm..just nice for the massage

Since we were new to this..we really wewrent sure abt mane of the things or of wat use different oils were for.So we spent ant 15mins talking to the owner who was really nice patient and really explained to us abt wat we should take.So we decided to have a couples massage for half an hour followed by a jacuzzi bath.So the massage started and at first it was really funny as she pressed all my veins...i was really controlling my laughter while on the other hand beside me yanni was already laughing out loud..hahahaha...The massage was really really soothing especially when they massaged our hands and feet...It was so nice that yanni and i decided to extend the massage to 1hr.In the end we ended up paying a whooping $140.

After all that massage we were really hungry and sao we decided to head to town for our all time favourte fried fish bee hoon at lucky plaza.We reached there...ordered our food...and OH MY GOD! the food sucks!! really...it was sooooo blend..tooo blend..there was ahrdly any taste..feeing pissed as we were both hungry we went back to the shop to ask for a new fried fis h bee hoon only to find out that they had already closed...So we settled for some other mee which honestly tasted like my camp food in brtc..hahha..that sucked too..feeling all hungry and pissed we decied to go somewhere where we were guranteed excellent food and 5 star service...where else but PIZZA HUT..hahah...ok so we sat down and oredered our food. the drinks came first as usal and just after pouring the pepsi in the the glass( btw we ordered 1 large hawaiaan 6pcs drumlet and a pepeci pitcher) i picked it up to have a sip..to my amazement the blady fucking glass kind of broke into 2 from below....and my jeans was now drenched with pepsi..and to ake matters worst the whole pizaa hut stared at us...i was really boiling at that time.When the guy came over to clean up the mess...i said to him ' I WANNA SEE UR MANAGER' and when he came to me i said to him' HOW COME U AS A MANAGER DUN TRAIN YOUR STAFF TO CHECK THE GLASS BEFORE SERVING" he could see that i was really piseed as this was not my fault.

But beng the guy that i am...i was only pissed for abt 10secs...hahaha...after that we were joking as usual..the manager was really nice enough to give us an extra pepsi pitcher...a 25% discount off the total bill and plus even offered to give me a pizza hut pants..muhaahhahahaha..crazy tamelak.And fyi the pepsi pitcher was of no use as we could not even finish the first one althogu have a camels tank.
After that really full meal we headed home..yanni was feeling sick and really neede to rest.so i drop her back and i headed home..so now here i am...half naked squinting my eyes infront of the pc and updating my blog..tom back to werk...fucked up!! really cannot wait to ord* morte mths teni..hang in there...hmmmwhat shall i do after this? iron my clothes? watch tv? eat again? or go into dreamland?i really dunnow. ok la thats it for now.Bye bye Mr sun and family..

Everyday with u is soo fun

2005-12-13T00:00:00.000+08:00

Dear yanni,
i want u to know that im really happy that u have finally decided on your own to change for the better.Im really proud of you..from tryin to stop drinking to tryin to stop clubbin and now startin to to try prayin and learning more abt islam.Im very sure Allah is very happy with u and im sure he is smilling down n you.Do your family proud and learn arabic and teach them all abt islam and the right way of life.By doing this not only u but ur future husband and ur children will benefit from it.Sacrificing now is a small price to pay for your childrens upbringing.I promose to be be there for you all the way and i hope we both can spend time and money on researching more abt islam rathenr that wasting our time and money.You bring back the motivation in me on being pious again.Lets start slow and dun rush.Lets master the basics together and be very knowlegdeable in it before learning the others.Lets start the basics bt tryin our best to pray 5 time a day or atleast 2 - 3 time a day.As u have experienced first hand...prayers and doa do werk.Like how the bike skid and u doa for my safety and how u thought u lost ur puch but because u pray god kept it aside for u.these are all signs from Allah but sadly not everysone sees it.We should be grateful that we did.I look forwaard to more book readin and islamic shopping and syarahan with u.You are really a god girl.I love u alot alot alot.Please dun change the way you are because u are already so perfect.
Loads of love,
Mr Sun :)

Im feelin so lousy..and i dun know y

2005-11-07T23:53:00.000+08:00

And the above title reads...i dun know y i feel this way.maybe its because im starting work tomorrow after such a long and joyful break..maybe its because i dun have a bike yet...haiyah it just driving me nuts thinking about when im gonna finish my damn ns. i know i only have 10 more months to go but it seems like forever la...help help!!but what the heck right..there is just nothin i can do but be patient.i really miss those days when i used to ride and listen to my mp3 and just hit the highway at speeds topping 130km/h.the feeling is just so great...when im doing that all my problems that i have just magically just vanishes away and i find my self in a space where nothin else matters.God i really miss the feeling.And also those days when i used to go to jb with cutsie yanni and eat alot and buy stuff and just laugh and laugh and laugh..I just hope i get a bike real soon.lately i have been thinking alot abt whan im gonna do after ns.ultimately my goal will be and has always be to be a millionaire and weather thats fated for me or not i dun re4ally care..i just wanna werk my ass off and see what happens.it really hurts me when we go for raye and my mums friends asks my mum what her child are doin..shanu is gonna be a pilot...jep is gonna be a graduate..and when it comes to my turn...there really is nothin much to say..i do feel hurt ..really..but what can i do..this path has already been written for me i guess.Anyways back to what im gonna do agfter ns..honestly i dun have a clue. i might try flying and if that dosent happen then any manly jobs will do..cargo line maybe..or anything really.Anywya im used to hard work..has been werking all kind of jobs and so i think i can pretty much handle any job already.i guess thats abt it for today...dreading going to werk tomorrow...i miss u yanni.

Feel like fuck

2005-10-27T01:36:00.000+08:00

IM feelin like so damn shitty now...thank you yanni for maing me feel this way.On top of all the problems that im facing now the last thing that i need in my life is this kinda shit coming from you.It really hurts me to see that u think of me in that way...but fuck it ah...im sick and tired of all these relationship crap..just when i was about to sound you and make everything so perfect ..you just had to spoil it...2004 - 2006 will offically be the worst time of my entire life...firstly beacuse i have to serve this fucking stupid waste of time ns and secondly because financially my family and i are sooo sooo broke.Fuck life..im so sick of it. Plans that we make never works out..nothing does.Im so so sick i just feel like running away from everyone and all my problems..If only i could..i would.

2005-10-23T02:15:00.000+08:00

1. When you look yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at?My hair

2. How much cash do you have now on you?
$0.00
3. What's a word that ryhmes with 'TEST'?
Best?

4. Favourite Plant?
What the fuck?

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call cell phone?
Nadeem

6. What is your ringtone now?
Iron maiden

7. What are you wearing now?
Red boxers
8. Do you "label" yourself?no

9. Name the brand of your footwear you are wearing now?
Adidas

10. Bright or dark room?
bright

11. What do you think of the person who took this survey before you (must state name)?Yanni – She must be really bored to do all this surveys

12. Ever "spilled the beans"?
yup

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Went out with gop; and the guys

14. Word for word: What is the last text message you received on your cell phone?I know.i said I go causeway point.

15. Do you ever click on Pop Ups or Banners?no

16. What's the saying that you say a lot?
Oh my god

17. Who is the latest person who he/ she say loves you?
Yanni

18. Last furry thing you touched?My lovely cat

19. How many hours do you work a week starting from tomorrow?im off tomorrow

20. How many rolls of films do you need to get developed?to get what developed?

21. Favourite Age you have been so far?
None so far

22. Your worst enemy?Allan tan

23. What is your current desktop picture now?some adidas shoe

24. What was the last thing you say to someone earlier?hi shaistah

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret?
$100,000,000

2005-10-23T01:55:00.000+08:00

1.like to walk under the rain?
Sometimes

2.Sleep with or without clothes on?
Without a top.

3.Prefer black or blue pen?
Black

4.Dress up on Halloween?
Errmm…im a muslim

5.Like to travel?
Yup

6.Like someone?
Yup

7.Do they know?
Yup

8.cute ?
Extremely

9.Think you're attractive?
Average

10.Want to marry?
Not too sure abt that at this stage of my life,

11.With whom?
Errm..read question 10 again.

12.Alaska or Hawaii?
Mmm…Mekkah

13.a good student?
Yes only in cdc

14.Where are you by the way?
In front of the fucking comp la.

15.involved in sports?
Used to be

16.Christmas or Halloween?
Read question 4 again.

17.Colored or black-and-white photo?Both

18.Do long distance relationships work?
Not at all

19.Do you believe in astrology?
No but its fun to read

20. Do you believe in GoD?
Read question 4 again

21.Do you believe in love at first sight?
Yes

22.Do you consider yourself the life of the party?
I dun understand the question..

23.Are u an outgoing person?
Can be

24.Do you have a job?
Technically no

25.Do you make fun of people?
Love to

26. Do you think dreams eventually come true?
Read question 24

27.Fave thing to do?
Ride my bike

28.Chocolates or Candy?
Chocolate

29.Fave. person?
Jepo

30.Favorite body part of the opposite sex?
Bootylicious thighs

31.Favorite food?
I eat everything

32.Go to the movies or rent?
Both

33. How's the weather right now?
Cooling

34.Hug or kiss?
Depends on situation

35.last person u talked on the phone?
Yanni yanni bo banni

36.Last time you showered?Abt 1 hr ago

37.Loud or soft music?
Both dependind on my mood

38.McDonalds or Burger King?
BK for sure

39.More romantic? baths or shower?
Bath

40.Night or day?
Day & night

41.Number of pillows on ur bed?
4

42. Fav instrument? piano or guitar?
My anus

43.Read or write?
Both

44.Hot chocolate or Cold?
Both

45.Snow or water?
Snow

46.What are you going to do tomorrow?
Tell you when tomorrow comes

47.what clothes are you wearing?
Red boxers

48.What do you drink?water

49.What's ur wallpaper on your computer?
Some nike soccer shoes my bro likes

50. What's right next to you?
A lamp

Im glad every doubt i had has been cleared

2005-10-02T02:26:00.000+08:00

Phewww...finally all the doubts and insecurity that i was feeling all this while has finally subsided...andi has finally showed his true colours to you and im sure that you would not want to be with a guy like him.

I enjoyed my day with you today..spending the whole day with you is somethin that i am getting used to and something that i enjoy doing. i know that i have been very fickle minded and very irritating when i keep on changing my mind abt weather or not i wanna sell my rxk and by a kr and because of that i wanna thank you for putting up for my shit and always being patient and being by my side.Now i think and i hope i have finally made up my mind and that is to keep my rxk until u pass ur 2b and then buy a kr together will you and i cant wait for the day when we will be riding side by side each other...at the same time i am also extremely concern abt your safety because as you know the roads are never safe for bikes.And i am surely gonna miss u riding behind my when you buy your bike. :(
Amyways you should be happy with my exk because with this bike i can pick you up from werk , pick u up after ur bike prac and spend alot more time with you than i used to with my kr because of the low fuel consumption.

I really hope we both get a part time job soon to solve our own personal problems but at the same time i also hope that the partt ime job wont make us drift away from each other.yanni i wanna take this opportunity to thank you for buying for the the cool pony sweater and pants...i really love it..thank you so so much..i really appriciate it and also wanna thank you for treating me to swensens food and gelare waffle ice cream...i really enjoyed.

Whn i have enough money i will treat you too k...dun worry...what goes ard comes ard so treat me more k and u will get it back...hahaha...ok now im starting to talk crap..

Fasting month is coming and im really happy beacuse i will be able to go mosque everyday for 1 month straight praying terawah..i really like the atmosphere in the mosque..feels so peaceful and i dun think abt any of my problems..i really hope Allah will bless me with a good and pious wife.
i guess thats it for now....will update my blog again soon when yanni asks me too...hahah...Yanni just so you know...I know i did choose the right babe ;)
I simply lurvvveeeeeeeee you!

Im not good at this game of love :(

2005-09-24T23:34:00.000+08:00

you once told me that Andi would never be in your choice...but i guess i was foolish and too innocent to believe you.. coz now he is in your choice and you like him as how you like me.. thinking back on all the sacrficies that i made just for you.. like when i had myt bike how i always see you at yishun and spent time with you almost everyday...bringing you to interview for emirates and taking leave from my work just for you..picking you up from work and sending you back...and most recently still wanting to see you although i dun have a bike and although yishun and tampines are sooo far apart.plus i have to change bus at yis int and sometimes even have to walk as i dun have enough bus fare...i still have the heart to sacrifice just for you.What has andi done that you like him as much as u like me?Has he sacrificed as much as i did?It hurts to know that after all that i have done for you..all it takes for another guy is to sweet talk to you and u like him as much as you like me.. If i treated you like a friend u can just dream on abt me being so nice towards you and always wanting to spend time with you...i treated you as though u were my girl friend..its hurting to know that after all that i have done you are still keeping your options open...it hurts to see you mingleing ard and calling him sweet heart while i am being so loyal and refuse to respond to any other of my girl friends..i guess i have no choice but to keep my options open too..i hate being in line for a girl...feels like i dun have what it takes to be with you...feels like im not good enough coz if i was good enough you would surely want me to be yourts.If i am not good enough for you than so be it...I have said this to all my girlfriends and i shall say it to u..its never my loss...

Truly Madly Deeply

2005-09-06T02:14:00.000+08:00

I cant believe i am falling in love again..i am happy...infact very happy but at the same time i am scared too..scared to be hurt again..scared to be cheated on again and most of all..scared to be left behind all alone.But like you said...every relationship is a big risk.And i am ready to take this risk. the question keeps playin on my minmd...like a track on a cd that is put on repeat mode..the question is will u accept my offer? or will i get rejected...rejected not because u dun like me but rejected because you are not ready.The answer to that question lies only in your heart and sadly i cannot see through it. I guess i just have to face it and challenge the risk. but one thing for sure....i hope you will be mine someday. :) you know how u are u biatch..hahah HUG!!!!

My blog is finally up and running!!

2005-08-31T11:28:00.000+08:00

These pass few days have been so great for the both of us.I really enjoy your company and im getting fond of you.You are what i look forward to after a hard day's work beacuse looking at your face never fails to put a smile on mine.All the trips to Jb...the shows we have watched...the little arguments we had all make me like you even more. I think i have come so far that i really hope we will work out someday.I love you Yanni..So so much.Wished i could spent every second of my life with you beside me. :)

A Thank you letter for my cutsie

2005-08-31T11:27:00.000+08:00

I seriously never thought that anyone except my ex could make me happier...but since u came into my life...the hapiness and security that i used to feel cannot be compared to how i feel now..i long to see your smile, smell ur heavenly scent and feel ur fingers inter-twined with mine everyday single day.Although it has been no more than a month...my feelings for you runs deep and much deeper with each passing day.The love , care and concern that i have for you cannot be described...so much so that sometimes i think im crazy falling this way for you.But i know its all worth it and i really do enjoy loving you , pampering you and seeing you smile.Thank you for always being there for me and spending a lot of your time on me. i really appriciate u like how u appriciate me.Thank you so so much darlin...Seriously...i think we are in a relationship in denial.. :)

Why is it so hard for you to let go?

2005-08-31T11:26:00.000+08:00

The very sight of your beautiful face always never fails to put a smile on my face..Why do i feel this way towards you when i dun even know much about you.Why do i feel like i want you to be part of my life...maybe its because of this special something that i saw in you.Honestly i dun know what it is but its there.As always...just as i am about to think of all the sweet things that i wanna think abt between the two of us , there is always this black clouds..clouds of doubts..that always feels my mind.I really really dun know how you feel towards me...Yeah u may say u like me but that just dosent explain what i want to know..things like do i have a chance?..am i in your list?... i dun wanna be wasting my time nor do i wanna be hurt again.Am i rushing things? Maybe i am but im only human.As much as your past affects you..it does affect me too. Life has to go on..you have to move on...no one said its gonna be easy but thinking abt him and still contacting him wouldnt help you one bit.I really wanna see you move on and get on with your life and leave your past behind.I guess you know better than i do on how to deal with your problems.Will be seeing u at 9pm today...hope to have a nice long talk with you like how we always do. :)

Should i give it a shot

2005-08-31T11:25:00.001+08:00

Wat a day yesterday was...went to city hall in the morning for the NDP combined training rehearsal yesterday and was practically marching whilst my brains was being fried by the torching sun...it was really really hot..so hot that 2 ppl fainted.And there was not even enough water points which made it more worst.After that shafiq invited me to a chalet of one of his friends..since i had no one to ask along to accompany me i decided to ask her along....honestly she really is pretty and very very cute as well...i just could not take my eyes off her the moment i saw her.So we went to the chalet and all the guys were staring at her...i felt funny...then at ard 12 plus they started drinking and i didnt feel comfortable there so i decided to teach her how to ride my bike..shes pretty good for a first timer..even managed to tompang me..muahahhaa fast lerner i must say...After that we chilled at pasir ris beach and talked alot..although i am the talkative type..the very sight of her just makes me wanna stare at her and not say a word while i admire her beauty...sent her back to yishun and headed back home.I know that i can fall in love with her if i want too but seriously i dun have a clue abt how she feels abt me...right now we are just friends and i am cool with that...i guess i will just have to wait and let time decide..thats all for now..gonna play soccer with the guys at the multi storey carpark.Btw im contemplating weather i should sell my bikebecause there is some kind of emotional attachement towards my bike now..HELP!!

Behind all that smiles

2005-08-31T11:25:00.000+08:00

Feelin lost and empty inside is something i am slowly getting used to. The lost of a love one and a best friend really makes my world feel so small.If only things were how it used to be before..maybe its fated or maybe its just stupidity on both our parts.Blame it on NS? I really dun know..yes i admit that i also was in the wrong , but my intentions were only for the benefit of our future. Take it the way u want to , believe in what people say , for i know that my intentions were good. Memories we had together somehow gets stuck to me..as if someone nailed it in my heart. Drowning myself in thoughts of self pity , i often think.. are u really worth my love and my tears..the answer is very obvious.

Profit or Loss

2005-08-31T11:24:00.000+08:00

After talking to many people...i too , finally agreed that one of the benefits of being single is that u get to save more money. Thats true to a certain extent. As for me , weather im single or not , i still always end up broke.And being a male , this really affects my ego alot. But thankfully , i know where my money is always going to, now that im single.It may be glamorous and it may look sporty but the fact of the matter is that my Kr has a lot of problems.Though the problems may seem minor , repairing them do cost alot because one thing leads to another.And for the past 2 months i have been going broke no more than 3 days after my pay-day.Having done a full servicing on my bike , i expected it to run and sound a lot more better...and the truth is that it did , but only for about a week.It still sounds good now , only thing is that the fear of my bike breaking down again like how it did in yishun really bugs me. I have come to such a point where trading my currerent Kr for an RXZ might be a reality.But having spend so much money and a hell lot of waxing on this bike...i think i shall give it another 2 mths to prove itself.If things are still the same then i guess i have no choice but to get another bike.Better still , i might not even own a bike because the reson for me to get a bike is sadly not with me.Anyways , i shall see how things goes and pray that everything will turn up just fine.

What have i done to deserve this?

2005-08-31T11:23:00.000+08:00

What have i done to deserve this? My love for you is so pure..so true..never have i loved anyone in my life so so much before.But why does your heart feel alien towards me? Always wanting you to see me happy is a big mistake because you took that to mean that i am ok...even though you were not with me , when we went out i did not show you my dark side..the side of my that is wanting you back so much , the side of me that feels so hurt beacuse you are not with me , the side of me that is crying to sleep every single night..and i did all that because i did not want you to worry abt me..thinking that how you feel is more important than how i feel...but all that was a big mistake for you took it to mean otherwise..i should have showed you how i felt from the start..maybe then you would have seen how much i love you and how desperate i am to get you back.I am going thru such a mental and emotional breakdown that i really dont know what to do anymore..you were all i had..all that i wanted.People learn from mistakes and yes there are consequences for mistakes but what if the mistake was done to make you a better person?Would i still have to go thru the consequences even though i did it for your own good?I have learnt from my mistakes and i know that i am a better person now...then why do u still not want me back? With my birthday just round the corner...no other gift would be nicer than to have u back in my life..thats all i want. :(

Still feels like the past

2005-08-31T11:21:00.000+08:00

The very sight of your beautiful face makes me wanna run to you...like a child running to the arms of a mother.They say time heals all wounds , as for me , time has past but my wounds are left untouched.In fact the feeling of achieving my goal of eventually getting u back gets more stronger with each passing day.And its not as if im doing all these just because i want u back , but its because the love i have for u runs so deep in me that i know we can happen.. we can do it again.Never have i bonded with someone so close.If only my heart could talk , maybe then u will understand how i feel towards you and maybe then u may see the reason to come back to me.Sending u back just now and feeling your arms hug me so tightly got my emotions running so wild that before i knew it , tears were running down my eyes , tryin hard to stop it...i just couldnt.Not knowing when i was ever gonna see you again...not knowing weather you still love me...not knowing wheather i will eventually be with u soon...were all fuels that kept my tears running.Finally reaching our destination , i insisted that my eyes were just dry because i dun want you to remember seeing me last crying , but i would rather want u to remember seeing me last with a smile on my face saying i love you to u.I guess thats all for now...my throat feels so so dry... :(